A Joke ジョーク

I told Avram I didn't have a nice picture for my last blog entry. Then he said, "A picture is worth a thousand words, but a thousand well written words are worth more than a picture. Yours is like that."

He is good at making people happy.

We went walking as usual in the evening. He sometimes tells me jokes. American jokes have a different sense of humor from Japanese ones, so I usually don't get them.

Yesterday he told me this joke.

Two Indians went hunting and discovered a spirit. The spirit granted them each a wish. The first wished to be the smartest man in the world and his wish was granted. The second said he wanted to be smarter than the smartest man in the world. The spirit turned him into a woman.

I got it very easily because I see it between us:)

I'm kidding.

「昨日のブログに使えそうな写真がなかったんだ。」とアブちゃんに言ったら、「『写真は千の言葉より価値があるけど、千のいい文章は写真よりも価値がある。』君のブログはそれと同じ。」

彼は人に自信を与えたり幸せにしたりすることが上手です。

夕べもいつものように散歩に出かけました。アブちゃんは時々ジョークを教えてくれますが、アメリカンジョークは日本のユーモアとはちょっと違うので私は時々理解できません。

昨日のはこういうのでした。

２人のインディアンが狩りに出かけ妖精を見つけました。妖精はそれぞれの願いを叶えてやることにしました。１番目の男の願いは世界で１番賢い男になること、そしてそれは叶いました。次の男は世界で１番賢い「男（man）」よりも賢い「人（man）」になること、そしてそれは叶えられました。その男は女になりました。

このジョークは簡単に理解できました。なぜって私たち２人みたいだから。

冗談です。

Our placement test （韓国語レベルテスト）

Avram and I had a placement test for our Korean class last night.  We know our level is really beginner's, but the office said we should take the test.

At the beginning of the test, one woman explained about the test and the schedule for the new semester in Korean.  We couldn't understand at all.  While she was talking, Avram was practicing "Hello" in Korean to me many times.  I was pretty sure it wouldn't be in the test.  I was right.

We can read Korean, but don't understand the meanings.  I tried to understand and solve the questions.  Avram was doing something next to me.  I saw him.  He was drawing a picture on the sheet.  I thought my husband is smart because he was answering the test for a long time, but he wasn't.  I mean he wasn't solving the question.

After we finished the test, I saw his paper.  I was shocked.  He was ordering the numbers to each questions.  For example, he answered 1 to Q.1.  A.2 is for Q.2.  Then he answered 25 to Question 25 even if we had only four alternative.

We want to learn basic Korean to understand it better, so he didn't try to do the test hard.  I think we don't have to worry we will go to the intermediate class because of our poor Korean, but I took the exam seriously.

Now Avram worries I have to go to the Intermediate class if my guessing worked and I got a good grade.  I am just worried that Avram and I get the same points even if he enjoyed drawing and I answered seriously.

When he gave his test sheets to the woman, she saw the picture and was surprised.  She opened her small eyes as big as she could and said good-bye to us.  Her face drawn with the shock.

Our class will start at seven in the evening next Monday.  I hope we'll be in the same room and Avram won't fall asleep after 8:30 pm.

昨夜は韓国語のレベルテストがありました。初心者だとわかってはいても、実力把握のために試験を受けるように言われ行ってきました。

試験について韓国語で説明がありましたが２人ともさっぱりわからず、顔を見合わせて笑うしかありませんでした。その間も、アブちゃんは「アニョハセヨ」を何度も私に向かって練習していました。私がそれはテストに出ないと言ってもそればかりもごもご唱えていました。

テストはチンプンカンプンでどうしようもありませんでしたが、とりあえず解きました。隣を見るとアブちゃんも何かしています。よく見ると解答用紙の裏に落書きをしていました。それはやがて４分の１の範囲に及ぶほどに大きなものになっていました。黙々と解いて賢い夫だと安心したのも束の間、試験中力が抜けてしまいました。

試験が終わり、彼の解答用紙を見てさらに衝撃が走りました。たくさん回答してあると思ったそれは、なんと順番よく数字をふってあるだけだったのです。たとえば、問題１の答えは１、問題２の答えは２、問題２５の答えは２５。たとえ選択肢が４までしかなくても、答えは２５らしいのです。

彼は初心者のクラスで２人で一緒に勉強したいからまじめに試験を受けなかったらしいですが、それは無用な心配だと思います。彼の心配は私だけが中級クラスにいかないかということ、私の心配は遊んでいた彼とまじめに解いた私の点数が同点になりはしないかということです。

問題と解答用紙を試験監督の女性に手渡すとき、彼女がアブちゃんの落書きを眼にして衝撃のあまりその細い瞳をできる限り見開いて驚いた表情をしていたことを私は見逃しませんでした。アブちゃんは完全に見逃していました。

来週の月曜日からクラスは始まりますが、２人同じクラスであることとアブちゃんが８時半になったら居眠りをしださないことだけを願ってやみません。

Screaming from the kitchen

Last December I was so excited to be cooking at home after one month of hotel life.

One day I was looking forward to making white rice. I can't live without WHITE rice. One of my American friends gave me a rice cooker made in Japan because she couldn't read the directions. I was very happy to have it.

I was using it that day. I plugged in, then it made noise and sparked. I said, "Uh ooh" to myself. I remembered Avram told me we have to use a transformer for our electrical appliances. I couldn't give up about white rice, so I tried again with the transformer. This time the rice maker jumped, made louder noise, and smoked. I was surprised, so I jumped with it too. I smelled something burning. It was my beautiful rice maker.

When I told about it, Avram said "Lucky you. If it was a hair dryer, your head would get burnt." Oh, no! Then I would have a burned head like in a comedy show. I don't want to die with that hair style.

I make rice in pots now, but you know I can't succeed every time. I often smell something is burning.

Officially Avram and I don't have any secrets, but I did this week.

Last week I was going to get sour cream, but I bought cream cheese by mistake. Even if we ate it everyday, it was a lot for two of us. I decided to make a cheese cake which I don't need a oven because we can't use our American gas oven here. I used a pan. It worked for a while. It smelled good, but it was ugly when I opened the cap of the pan. It looked like vomit. I was sad to see it even if the taste was good, so I didn't tell we have the cheese cake to Avram.

Today we got hungry, but didn't have enough food at home. Finally I had to ask him if he wants the vomit. Of course, he said yes. I made him close his eyes and eat them. He liked it.
Yes, he is good at making me happy.

The other day, I heard a man was yelling or shouting outside even if I was on the 11th floor. A man was there and a woman was bringing her knives from her place and asked him to sharpen them. We needed to do that too, so I brought him our knives. After he finished sharpening them, I asked "How much?"in Korean. I heard "$10.5, "but I was not sure if it was $15 or $10.5. I showed $15, then he took it and said thank you. Hmmm..., I was wrong. I should have asked how much it was again and again. I told it to my Korean friend. She said that was too expensive and gave me advice I should give $5 (cheaper money) first and leave there.

In Korea you often see shops that don't show or put prices on their stuff. Every time I go shopping, I learn how to shop in this country.

Avram sometimes hears my screaming from the kitchen when I make mistakes or get shocked. He sometimes calls me to ask if I am all right with the house work from his office. He's scared of my life as a home maker.

Don't we talk at home? 家で会話しないの？

Avram, thank you very much for telling people about me in your longest blog.  Probably they can wonder if we talk to each other at home.

Here's my quick response.

I don't know even the word "feminine wiles".  How did I do it to him then?  Avram can say I was charming to him at that time, hehehehe:)

When Avram saved my life at the beach on our first date, I was tired from surviving the rough waves.  He looked like a prince on a white horse. 

We have never argued or fought since we met.  Who imagined we do them in our blogs?  Technology sometimes messes up people's lives.

Avram, I'm still okay.  I will cook for you today.  Don't worry.

アブちゃん、あなたの１番長いブログの中でわたしのことを書いてくれてありがとう。多分、みんな私たちが家で会話してないんじゃないかときっと不思議に思っているはず。

アブちゃんのブログに対抗して

私はfeminine wilesという言葉すら知らないのに、どうやって彼に女性らしいモーションをかけられるでしょう？アブちゃんは正直に私が魅力的だったと言えばいいのに。

アブちゃんが初めてのデートで私の命を助けたとき、私は強い波から逃れるのに疲れ果てていたから、彼が白馬に乗った王子様に見えました。

私たちは出会ってから１度も言い争いや喧嘩をしたことがありません。誰が今頃になってそれをブログ内でするなんて想像したでしょう？技術の進歩というのは人の人生をもまた惑わせるものです。

アブちゃん、まだ大丈夫。今日はまだ料理してあげるつもりだから、今のところ心配しないで。

I spoiled him and it worked.

When we used to work at a middle school together in Japan, I was Avram's boss. Avram was my ALT, Assistant Language Teacher. I made teaching plans and his schedule.

I was a strict teacher at the school. I let(probably made) students and some teachers cry with talking, not yelling, hitting, or kicking. I let them think how they can think and do better for themselves and the future. I just talked to them calmly. Then they cried. They were moved by my talk and cried, so it's not my fault even if teachers cried. Anyway, that's why people were afraid when I called their names.

As I have already told you, I didn't know I was Avram's girlfriend until I heard him telling it to his friends. But even before then I made a flexible schedule for him and let him do what he wants to do at school as his boss. I spoiled him, but it worked. He thought I'm nice and fell in love, even though other women teachers brought more food for him.

I don't remember well about one thing. He says I let(or made) him ask for a date. On his first day at the school, he told me he's going to the ocean. At that time, I moved to the city a few months ago and didn't know any good beach. I'm an island girl, so I missed the ocean very very much. I just TOLD I like to see the ocean. He felt some pressure by himself then and asked if I'll come with him. Of course, I went because I wanted to see the beach.

For a month after that, I didn't know we were dating.

I still spoil him.
I let him wake up at 5:00 a.m. for running and feed him at seven. I sometimes make lunch when he needs. I prepare his 10:00a.m. and 3:00p.m. snack. We eat dinner at five and let him go to bed at nine as you know well.

He thanks me very much and buys some chocolates for me (and him). One of his coworker said "You think about each other well." Yes, we do.

Yesterday he bought two boxes of chocolate for me (and him). Thanks for the chocolate from the PX after Valentines sale!

Now he went running and had exercise this morning. I asked him if he will have breakfast after his shower. He says, "If I am STILL SPOILED, pleeease..." So I have to go to prepare his breakfast now.

Remember I'm a woman.

I belong to BIWA, Busan International Women's Association. They have some cool activities such as salsa classes, flower arrangement class, language classes, and so on. I enjoy some of them.

BIWA has coffee morning every Wednesday and has lunch together once a month. It was my first time to go to the lunch two weeks ago. I got some info about the lunch. According to a woman, people wear formal clothes for it. I threw my fine clothes away before I left for the U.S.. Who thinks I need nice clothes with Avram. He takes me to mountains, not to three star restaurants.

Anyway, I wore an ok sweater and skirt for the lunch. Then I realized I need a bag for it, so I went shopping to get a bag. I liked it. It was good price and fine looking.

I told Avram I bought the bag when he came home. He said, "You don't put make up and don't care about fashion for me, but look at you now. You do them for BIWA!" I don't understand why he complained to me. He should look at his closet. He has more clothes than I do. He can run a clothes shop now. We often went shopping for him last two years, but not for me (because I am not interested in brand and shopping). Anyway, I bought only "A" bag.

Everywhere I go and many people I meet, people usually ask me where I am from because of my looks. They think I'm not Japanese. One French woman said, "You really don't look like Japanese. Maybe it's because you don't put make up" though I did put make up that day. Oh, well.

That happens even in Japan, too. When I'm with Avram, people think we're foreigners. They talk to Avram in English or Japanese. Then I pretend I'm not Japanese because I am not good at talking. I also like being quiet. Avram is nice to talk with other people. That is his talent, so I enjoy watching him talking with Japanese people in Japanese.

I stopped putting make up, wearing nice clothes, going to Karaoke, and so on since I met him. Now my younger sister tells me, "Don't forget you are Japanese and a woman. I can't understand why Avram loves you at all." Then I tell her he loves me because I'm not like other women who care about fashion. It's much easier to live, but I sometimes worry I'm forgetting some etiquette, manners, and Japanese words to be polite to other people as Japanese.

Avram asks me if I will go out everyday. Otherwise I just stay home all day everyday because it's winter now. But he bought a nice winter jacket, gloves, and cap for me. I have enough winter clothes for OUTDOOR. He sometimes says I should carry a heavy backpack for training in case we go to Nepal for back packing.

I'm getting stronger. I need to be tough. I'm staying very far from Japanese woman now. But I love it better than being a girly woman.

I'm off to my training. I have my orange back pack and going to Mega Mart to get more stuff to make the back pack be full and heavy.

Camping with Avram

I start to think what I should write for my next blog after Avram falls asleep.  Many stories comes up because he makes them everyday just like he makes music when he passes gas.

Today I have to tell you how helpful Avram is to make me stronger.

We went camping to Shenandoah National Park two years ago.  I saw some cautions about bears.  Unfortunately we couldn't get any room at the campsite.  I didn't hope Avram says, "Let's camp in the mountain."  But he did.  I said to myself, "Oh, my...no god in my life."  

We walked and walked.  Finally we found a flat place for making our tent.  Then he said we should eat far from our tent and hang our food on a tree because of bears.

He said, "Don't worry about bears" when we started the hiking.  Then why do we need to do that?!

At that time, we'd just started to live together, so I obeyed him.  I had tried to be a JAPANESE wife like many people imagine.  At least for a few months.(I'm kidding.  I have never tried to be so.)

He went to bed around nine as usual that night.  I couldn't sleep at all.  

How could I sleep?  I heard a helicopter, small animals, and finally a big animal around our tent.

The big animal sounded like it was walking around the tent.  I heard the breath near us.  I kept being quiet and shook Avram to make him wake up. 

He said, "I'm sorry" and then turned over.  I made him wake up again.  He asked me, "Did I snore?"  Sigh.

I was very scared of the noise, not his snoring.  I said, "Something is outside."  Avram said, "Yes?" and went back to sleep.  He didn't wake up until the sun light, next to his poor wife.  

I couldn't sleep at all that night, but I had to walk up and down hills for a long time the next day.

Avram let me do many kinds of experiences, so I'm getting used to challenging new things or more tough things.  I'm more easy going than before.  Actually it's much more fun than my old life.  Thanks to him.

According to him, (he's correcting my story next to me while I'm typing this now) "You don't mention the good part which shows how nice I am.  It was supposed to be a two night camping trip. But I'm always nice to you, so I said we can go home one day early for you."

Yes, Avram is a very nice husband.  He's perfect for me.